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最終更新日 : 2012/01/29 (Sun) 10:11
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It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
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Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Outside of a dog, a book is man\'s best friend. Inside of a dog, it\'s too dark to read.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
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Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
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I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don\'t talk about other people.
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Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
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When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
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When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
You\'re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
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Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
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After I\'m dead I\'d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn\'t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
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Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
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Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It\'s about Russia.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
And God said, \'Let there be light\' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he\'ll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
I\'m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
You can pretend to be serious; you can\'t pretend to be witty.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
There\'s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
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We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
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The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
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The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one\'s work is terribly important.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
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The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one\'s doubts.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
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I am not young enough to know everything.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, \'cause if they couldn\'t, they\'d have to wake up to the fact that life\'s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can\'t seem to keep up is they\'re a bunch of misfits and losers.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it\'s fantastic.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one\'s doubts.
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They laughed when I said I\'d be a comedian. They aren\'t laughing now.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
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A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
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Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
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When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
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First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It\'s the transition that\'s troublesome.
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Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
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Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
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The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
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A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
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And God said, \'Let there be light\' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
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All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
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And God said, \'Let there be light\' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There\'s also a negative side
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The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
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Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
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Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
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Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air however slight lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
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All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
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[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
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Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
After every \'victory\' you have more enemies.
If everything seems under control, you\'re just not going fast enough.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
I have not failed. I\'ve just found 10,000 ways that won\'t work.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
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Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
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There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don\'t think.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
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I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
最終更新日 : 2012/01/15/(Sun) 10:16
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